Regret
by RazenshiaSapphire1306
Summary: Prior to their three years of relationship, things running smoothly between them until one day, Allen began to change so does Kanda . This change threatens to break apart and their relationship. But is there a hidden reason behind Allen's change of behavior? Inspired from the song of Mai Hoshimura entitled 'REGRET' ay-man 7th ending theme song). YULLEN!


**TITLE: REGRET  
PAIRING: Kanda/Allen or Allen/Kanda; Depends of how you see it.  
WARNING: BoyxBoy(Shounen Ai), Language and Character's death.  
SUMMARY: Prior to their three years of relationship, things running smoothly between them until one day, Allen began to change so does Kanda . This change threatens to break apart and their relationship. But is there a hidden reason behind Allen's change of behavior? Inspired from the song of Mai Hoshimura entitled 'REGRET' ay-man 7th ending theme song).  
DISCLAIMER: ay-man and characters solely belong to Katsura Hoshino.  
**

**A/N: Hi, guys. I decided to write this fic after listening to DGM theme songs and I'm not sure if it's good because my stories were never been BETA by someone before so yeah. This fic has been beta read by SunsetKitsune. There may be some errors and I hope it's okay with you guys. This is one-shot and been in my file for a year now before I decided to post it. If you want a sequel just tell me , Kay? Anyways, Enjoy ! ^^**

****_**XxX  
REGRETS are always in the End and when it comes to the person you HOLD so DEARLY, YOU want nothing more than to return back TIME even you know it's already TOO LATE..."  
XxX**_

Death is inevitable and they are sacrifices in this god forsaken war. A mere tool to put into to stop the never ending cycle of cruel fate casted to the world. It's necessary for them to fight and not be given a chance of freedom to feel the simplicity of life as it was there sole purpose to be alive. To fight is to live. Yes, it's cruel but it has to be done because if he didn't, everything he had done so far will be in vain. Plus, there's nothing left for him than to struggle with death and at the same time fight for all living souls so there will be no more tragedy. That's is his sole purpose to fight until the end of his breath. Well, for them ... And for him... All he can do is to keep walking forward, keep moving on until he can't do it anymore.

Damn.

He doesn't _regre_t hurting them, A lie.

He could remember their hurtful eyes gazing at him.

He doesn't _regret_ lying to them , A lie.

He could remember their shock faces, gawking at him.

He doesn't _regret _leaving him, A lie.

He could remember his blazing eyes, filled with rage and betrayal.  
He doesn't _regret _being alone, A lie.

He missed the warmth of companionship and love.

He doesn't _regret _anything at all... A COMPLETE LIE.

.

He wanted to go back. Back to the place he called home...

Yet, he could not. No matter how much he wanted to return he simply can't do what his heart yearned for the entire time. Simply because he can't face them.. Him and it's already too late to turn back now.

Regrets filled him. The truth.

"I-I don't regret anything at all.." Allen forced out the words, gritting his chattering teeth. He didn't know who is trying to convince, but he just can't simply accept it, yet perhaps it's his way to ignore everything around him at the moment. It was cold, but the pain slowly, but surely engulfing his well being driving him through an endless torture, but compared to what happened in the past months this is nothing yet he can't deny that death already lingers in his petite form. Blood dripping from all over his body from various types of injuries, most of them are severe and he is barely covering the fatal wound on his side in an attempt to stop the further opening of the wound and the bleeding even though he is completely aware it's futile. His vision began to get blurred and dim from the mixed exhaustion, pain, and tears threatening to fall from his eyes. His consciousness starting to slip away as the heavy pounding of rain lulling him towards his limit. But-..

No!

He forced himself to steady his ragged breathing. He had stopped from running and god knows how long he has doing that. His legs were soon to give up on him and his mind is currently disoriented by the events that had transpired. A suicide mission. He closed his eyes. He can clearly hear the rain showering down on the tainted land, bullets, and explosions rang throughout the entire area. What's the hell going on around him? Never mind. He had much more important business to attend to than thinking the happenings around him.

His senses finally calmed down and return to normal.

A faint smile spread in his lips as he subconsciously traced the empty space on his left ring finger as he can still imagine how the ring perfectly fit there as the time he wore it and it give him the goosebumps as he missed the object that he had given up for this very moment.

"Allen Walker..." An eerie yet cheerful voice snapped him out his musing. Adam or should he say The Millennium Earl have finally make his appearance. "Good to see you here, Alive and Well.." He greets him, tauntingly.

Allen opened his eyes and turned to him with an impassive face, but his eyes showed everything. He didn't need to greet back or say a thing to him.

It's time to end this performance as the curtains are about to close and he'll give them the best show they'll never forget especially at the being in front him.

"Allen!"

Strange. That person would never call him out like that with such caring tone, yet fear laced with it as if he is about to break and die which is near to the truth at the moment, but he is the last person that will most likely not call his name no matter how close they can be at one another because he doesn't give a damn about the others most especially about him though it's only for a tough front. But he can clearly hear the desperate cries of the man he grow to loved so much and his dear friends. Was he becoming delusional and insane because they don't know where he is supposed to be in these past months unless Komui managed to track down Timcampy?

Probably he is delusional and insane because it's really impossible for them to be here especially HIM.

Yet, he wasn't going to complain because it's nice to be called by your name than being called by 'moyashi' though he won't deny he missed the horrible yet endearing nickname even though it's just his mind creating it from his exhaustion and blood loss.

Despite everything, he had noticed the rain had stopped not so long ago.

Then, everything swayed and the last thing he saw through his blurred vision was a crimson pool spreading around him. Faintly, he heard someone calling out his name and darkness embrace his exhausted and tattered figure, welcoming him to an endless peace he had sought all his life. And he gladly accepted the invitation of freedom.

"Allen!" A faint and choking sob kept calling out to him and embracing him tightly but he can't hear nor feel anything anymore. Such a pity, indeed.

Kanda, Can you hear me? ..Forgive me and I love you.. Farewell, I hope someday we can be together without the whole world crashing us down.. Simply us with normal lives..

How did it ended like this? A tragedy.

XxX

6 months ago..

At the cafeteria of Black Order..

Allen devouring his meal at his usual pace, making the mountain of food vanish within a few minutes.

"Allen, you should slow down a bit." Lenalee advised gently.

"Sorry, it's kind of habit hard to control." Allen replied after swallowing the last bits of his meals. "I simply love eating especially it's Jerry's cooking which the best!"

"Che, You should choke to death, Moyashi" The Japanese Exorcist commented icily but it make latter chuckled at his strange way of showing concern and affection through his foul language and violence. Yes, Kanda is the embodiment of brute strength and devotion.

"Thank you,Kanda" Allen smiled at his lover."And I'm certainly not a moyashi, Bakanda."

"Che." Kanda merely put his hand over Allen's as he looked away.

That's right, the two Exorcist have been dating for three years now and things running smoothly between them. Which made the white haired exorcist happy even they are fighting for survival, being with his friends and Kanda is enough to make him keep moving forward at ease.

The peaceful silence interrupted by Lavi.

"Allen, tomorrow is your birthday, right? What are you planning on doing?" Lavi asked thoughtfully. 

"I don't know, but I think I'll go walk around a bit." Allen said with a shrug.

"You do that." Lavi nodded with agreement, but soon regretted saying that because he could feel a certain samurai giving him a murderous glare. The silverette gave him a confused look.

"Huh?" Allen said as he cocked his head to the side in confusion.

But, the rabbit was lucky because Lenalee decided to help him instead of seeing him being maimed by a certain Japanese samurai beside them. 

"You'll see tomorrow, Allen. We'll be busy preparing for the Christmas party, so Lavi suggested that you stroll around a bit since you just returned from your last mission. That way, you could rest a bit." Lenalee said, carefully choosing her words. 

"But, I can-" Allen tried to protest, but was cut short when a certain samurai snapped with no apparent reason.

"Damn Moyashi! You'll only be a hindrance because of your fucking clumsiness! You'll just ruin the stupid party!" Kanda shouted angrily at the young boy. He was loud enough to make the entire cafeteria silent.

A hindrance, huh? It seems like he really wasn't needed here, but that only made things easier for him to make his move.

Allen was caught off guard by Kanda's out burst as well as Lavi, Lenalee, and the other people in the cafeteria. But, he knew that Kanda didn't mean any of the harsh words he said. He composed himself. He'll have to start doing the most painful sacrifice he's ever made. Allen decided that he would wait until after Christmas to start severing the bonds with his friends. But, it seems like this was the perfect opportunity to begin his own demise and the death of his entire being. A self destruction performance hidden behind a facade.

Ignorance was bliss for them, but for him, it was torture. 

"True, I'm a klutz but I'm certainly a human being unlike you. Who is not human to begin with . A mere project for this war." He said bluntly, fully prepared for the storm that was coming. He didn't need to wait too long for a reaction. As soon as Allen spoke those words, Kanda stopped dead in his tracks. His fist went flying into Allen's jaw without reserve. 

"Kanda!" Allen could hear the surprised and startled gasps from the people in the room before they all started whispering. But, Allen paid no attention to them. He could feel the pain blossoming. Rubbing his jaw, he started to inspect the damage done. A dislocated jaw. Nothing serious. Allen adjusted his jaw back into place without one hiss of pain. He turned to meet the cold fury blazing eyes of his lover, which already froze the entire cafeteria. That is, everyone except him. He wasn't scared of Kanda and that was the truth.  
He wasn't scared...The right term would be...He's hurts inside for saying those awful things to Kanda, but he was able to hide the hurt from everyone, including Kanda, who is the only person that can read him like an open book. He doesn't see that the latter was only trying to provoke him and make him hate him for a good reason. 

"What did you say, Moyashi!?" It wasn't a question. He was challenging Allen to repeat his words. He could barely keep the anger under control, but Allen had crossed the line and he would pay for it this time. 

"I don't like repeating myself, Bakanda." Allen replied nonchalantly as he easily blocked the next punch from the fuming samurai. He knew that he had pushed Kanda to his limits, but he didn't have any other choice. It was his only option to break the bonds between them. It hurt his heart to lie, hurt, and run away from the people he cared about so much.  
But, he never had a choice... 

Kanda cursed and grumbled something under his breath as he stepped away from Allen, snatching his hand away for the second time. He glared icily at him before he spat vehemently."At least I'm not a freak like you. You're not a human because of that f*** Noah inside you! Meaning you're nothing, but A MONSTER compared to me and the others!" Kanda half shouted. Every word was filled with poison.

Allen never flinched at his words, but inside he was falling apart. He was crying inside. Kanda's word stung more than anything he's ever admit. Allen was used to being called as such. Yet, when it came to Kanda, he almost lost control of his emotions. He silently watched Kanda storm out of the cafeteria, his eyes slightly dulled. Kanda had left everyone astonished by the harsh interaction between the two males. The had no idea what to say. They were speechless. But, what shocked them was that it had become deadly and personal. They were all certain that it pained both exorcists. 

Allen lowered his head, his bangs shadowing his facial features and mumbled softly to himself with a sad smile on his face. "I know. And you have much more of a human heart than I do, Kanda." Allen mumbled softly.

The first step had been completed.

Lenalee and Lavi both exchanged weary looks as soon as they'd seen Allen dark expression and heard his words. Both of them got an idea about what the white-haired boy was trying to do. They had to see Kanda as soon as possible. To sort things out in the samurai's head. They could clearly see what Allen was up to and that was to make sure the Japanese samurai loathes him.

**XxX**

Kanda was in the training hall,meditating so he could forget the tense interaction between him and the sprout . But god seems against his idea of peace as the stupid rabbit and the mad scientist's younger sister shown up in his sanctuary.

Kanda eyebrow twitches as they've seen him but continue to ignore the two presence in the place and returns to meditating.

"YU-CHAN! WE NEED TO-" Lavi cried but didnt managed to finish his sentence as Mugen's sharp tip pointed on his throat ready to cut him off.

"WHAT! AND DON'T CALL ME THAT!." Kanda grits his teeth and growled dangerously at the red-haired exorcist.

Lavi gulped even he knew that Kanda won't kill him but the deadly聽 aura he is releasing is quite dangerously high meaning it's already a death sentence if he snapped the man now.

"S-Sorry,Kanda" Lavi apologized but Kanda didn't moved still pointing Mugen at Lavi's oh so delicate throat.

"You haven't answer my fucking question, Baka Usagi" Kanda snarled. The temperature in the room dangerously dropping low and the atmosphere is too deadly coming from the grumpy Japanese Exorcist.

Lenalee let out a sigh of exasperation and shook her head,too tired to deal with her friends but boys will be boys. Nothing will changed that unless her brother created a potion of changing individuals gender which sounds creepy that makes her skin crawls.

"Kanda, please put Mugen down now. We just came here to talk."

"About what?"

"Allen." Lenalee said, observing Kanda's every move Ao she didn't missed his stiffening upon the mentioning of his lover's name before he reluctantly moved Mugen away from Lavi.

"Thank you, Lenalee-chan" Lavi turned to Lenalee with a grateful smile.

"So,Kanda about Allen-"

"Not interested." Kanda curtly replied as he made his way to leave the two annoying exorcist but only be blocked head on by Lenalee which he give a menacing glare but the damn girl is unfazed by it as she won't have none of his empty threats and a** excuses because she will make Kanda listen to her not run away like coward without sorting things out. "Move"

"No."

"I said get out of my way" Kanda said ,cobalt eyes narrowing when the girl didn't moved at all.

"I said no, didn't I?" Lenalee stated calmly even she can feel the killing intent started to slip out in Kanda's form.

"Move now," Kanda growled , trying to restrain himself from the urge to run her through with Mugen.

"Kanda. Please just for this time listen to us." Lenalee said sounding more frustrated than tired. "I know what Allen did to you is intolerable but please for now, Stay and Listen. I know you want to hear this!"

Lavi silently watched the interaction of Kanda and Lenalee. And expected the latter will scoffed and take his leave but To his surprise he stayed and begrudgingly said. "Make it quick."

"Well," Lenalee began, filling Kanda the information both her and Lavi gathered when he wasn't around the cafeteria anymore and the possible caused why Allen acted like that before him. "To sum it up, I think Allen-kun trying to make you hate him."

For a moment, Kanda gave them a rather blank look and then he scoffed. "Like hell, I would believe that crap."

"Kanda! Stop acting a stubborn brat will you and-!"

Kanda cut them off with a pointed glare. "I said I'll listen to you but I'd never said I'll believe whatever shit you'll be saying to me and would do another shit you ask me to. Now get out of my way. You've already ruin my meditation because of your constant nagging and I want to rest for you morons giving me a headache."

None of two males expected the following action of the female exorcist as the resounded slap echoed at the entire room. Kanda was far stunned to say a thing at the sting blossoming on his cheeks. "You're an idiot! Don't come to us crying if you'd lost Allen because of your stupidity!" Lenalee exclaimed then run away from the room.

Lavi sighed tiredly and looked at Kanda. "Look, Kanda. She's right stop being an ass and sort things out because this may be the last time you'll see Allen." With that being said Lavi followed the female exorcist. Knowing that snapped Kanda out his stupor and he'll go meet Allen and talk things with him. All was left for them to do is hope that things will get better between the two Exorcist as both of them experience the worst in life.

XxX

The whispering he wants it all and he'll forget it and never pursue it ever again. Yet, he knew better that he yearns and seeks the warmth of its love that left him cold and lifeless without it.

Thoughts were messing up in Allen's mind and he wasn't able to sort them out. Making him didn't get much aeaceful sleep as he recalled the interaction between him and Kanda hours ago. He is certain the Japanese Exorcist hated him now as he did a very good job of criticizing the man's well being when the said man is much better than him.

Allen pushed himself up from the bed as he buried himself with his knees as tears starting to leak out from his eyes. He felt so alone.

Damn it! He didn't regret what he have done! But he felt so bad of himself now it feels like he can't stand it anymore. But-

There's someone knocking on his door which he wanted nothing more to ignored the person behind the interruption of his silence but he won't deny he was grateful at the distraction because he felt like he was going insane especially when there's a silhouette figure that only you can see through the mirrors and hearing voices at your mind. The fourteenth.

"Moyashi," a muffled voice came from the door. Allen immediately recognized the owner of the voice and it caused him to go rigid.

Kanda! Allen gasped in surprised upon the recognition, What the hell is he doing in front of my door knocking? Probably making it official of their break up.. This thoughts saddened Allen more as he continue to think about it.

"Go away." He yelled sullenly, looking away from the door and his gaze caught the glimpse of snow slowly falling down through the land. Oh,Great. It's White Christmas and his birthday. And Allen Walker will be alone during the special day because he is such a bastard. Just perfect!

"Moyashi , Open this door now before I cut it open with Mugen." Kanda warned, his patience is running thin out of Allen's childish antics.

"No!"

Did he lock his door? Doesn't matter. The last thing he wanted is to see Kanda's face at the moment because it might caused his will to shatter.

On the other hand Kanda can't take it anymore. He finally snapped. So he unsheathed Mugen and slice the annoying structure into half that separating him with his Allen as the damn sprout continue being a brat. Once the stupid door finally crumbles down,clearing his way inside. He stepped in. Not caring the damaged he had done. The fools from the science division could fix that later and now he will face the damn baka moyashi.

He was greeted by heated silver eyes clearly showing his frustration and disapproval from Kanda's previous action but the navy haired man just shrug it off as he narrowed his cobalt eyes challenging the gaze of Allen.

"What do you want?" Allen asked coldly, Although his eyes betraying him as sadness and longing resurface through his mercury orbs upon seeing Kanda.

"We need to talk," Kanda merely replied. Not missing the flash of emotions in Allen's eyes before it clouded with usual indifference and taking a metal note of silverette's appearance. He looks worse than shit.

"Do you honestly think I'll talk to you after what you have done to my door, Kanda?" Allen scowled at him._ Please , Just go away. Please!_

"Che. It's just a fucking door and Komui can fix it anytime." Kanda scoffed,not averting his gaze from the apathetic figure before him. "And you're already talking to me, Baka Moyashi."

Gritting his teeth in annoyance. Allen finally spat. "Fine. What do you want to talk about? If it's about breaking up with me. Then gladly do so."

"Why?"

"I'm over with you, Bastard." Allen spat vehemently but there's something off in his voice. Hurt.

Kanda arched his eyebrow before stepping forward to Allen but there's still distance between them. "Really? You're over with me?"

"Yes, I'm over with you." _No, I don't want us to be over because I love you so much that it hurts. I can't live without you. But sacrifices must be made.. You're the one who'd say that to me.  
_  
"Liar," Kanda said rather softly for Allen's liking,eyes softening as he watched the tears silently cascading on Allen's eyes,unrecognized by the white-haired exorcist as he was too focus facing Kanda.

"I'm not a li-"

Kanda cut him off as he closed the distance between him and Allen as he embraced the boy securely. No room for escape. "Baka Moyashi."

Allen tried to struggle against Kanda's starting grip around him but it's no use as he can't break free from the protective arms encircling around him. Giving him the warmth and love he sought a while ago.

"I don't believe you," Kanda began softly as he felt Allen given up on thrashing in his arms. He slightly pulled away for him to see the reaction of infantile face before him only to see he is still crying but he never let go of him knowing he'll try to ran away once given a chance. ".. Because you won't be crying if you are truly over with me. It's only means you still love me, Idiot"

Allen blinked, startled by Kanda's words. True, he is crying as he feel something warm marring at his cheeks. He didn't realized that he is crying for some time now. He mentally cursed himself for showing such vulnerability especially before Kanda, For not able keeping up his composure and resolve.

Allen shook his head, After overcoming his shock he dubbed furiously his eyes with his sleeve in vain, attempting to hide the evidence.

"Oi, Stop that." Kanda growled with annoyance, gripping and pulling his wrist away from the now red stained cheeks. "You'll just make it worse, you dolt." He thumbed gently the tears left and caress the reddened cheeks.

Silver eyes widened as Allen went rigid at the caring gesture. He hadn't expected such things after what he had done to Kanda.

**Why won't you just hate me?  
**  
"Che, Baka Moyashi. You've rubbed it raw." He said with a slight annoyance though holding none of its normal roughness.

"Shut up. I'm over with you." Allen said firmly, removing Kanda's hands from his face. "This tears are nothing but tears of joy that I'll be finally free from you retard." Allen continue his act even he knew Kanda could see through his facade at the moment.

"Che, For someone who has a perfect poker face that is the lamest lie I ever heard." Kanda mumbled with disdain before crashing his lips with Allen, bruising it with such force.

Allen felt his heart skipped a beat and a bit feverish. He struggle but Kanda wouldn't relent , pouring his passion and desire into the boy with everything he had until Allen had no choice but to respond . Yet, the boy continue his struggling and it liked Kanda with no end , he pulled away to see the flustered boy, eyes half lidded and panting really hard.

"I told you that-" Kanda eaten Allen's words as he continue to claim his lips. He gently pushed Allen to lay down from the mattress and hovering over him.

Kanda broke the kiss and whispered huskily at Allen , nipping his earlobe. Earning him a pleasurable gasp from the boy beneath him. "Tell me, you don't like my touching,kissing you, me.." He slid in his hand from the boy's shirt, exploring every inch of Allen's milky yet soft chest. Over their three years of relationship Kanda never had touch Allen intimately like this for his respect at the boy but now he is already at the right age and it won't be wrong for Kanda to sated his hunger for the boy as he knew well that he is also waiting for this very moment. "Let see how long will you last with your horrible act..." Ripping the younger boy's shirt without any ounce of mercy. Animalistic. But it doesn't matter to Kanda. All matters now to him is the boy beneath him.

"S-stop,Please-" Allen's voice out weakly , trying to stop Kanda but he is drowning by the rough passion and pleasure Kanda giving him yet he can sense fear building up in his chest. If this continue all his resolve will shatter and everything will be in vain.

"Then, Stop me. Allen.." It's not a request but a demand. "..Prove to me, you can't live without me, that you don't need me anymore in your life.."

Allen gasped at Kanda. This is the very first time Kanda had called him in his first name not by the annoying nickname he gave to him. It sounded foreign to his ears but it brings him some fluttery feeling in him. Momentarily forgetting his fear then words echoed in his head from a not so distant encounter.

**You are bound to kill them, Allen Walker..**

**There's no escape from your fate..**

**You are a Noah...**

**That's your only reality.**

Allen shut his eyes as the conversation with the Earl in one of Road's dreams echoing through his mind. He must end all his connections so there will be no more tragedy that's the right thing to do at this very moment no matter how much it hurts him and destroys him.

Those words were all he needs for his resolve to perked up, to not waver. He pushed Kanda off him and glared at him with so much disdain.

"I told you didn't I? I'm over with you so fuck off,Kanda! I don't need you anymore! I hate you!" Allen yelled at Kanda angrily. "Go and die!"

Kanda might looked calm but behind the exterior is a very hurt,confused and shocked at Allen's outburst. He hadn't expected such reaction from him.

"Well? What are you still gawking like a fish? Get out in my room! Jerk!"

Kanda stood up and put something on Allen's bed before leaving completely Allen with his own cold world.

_**I'm not saying goodbye, Moyashi. I won't let this be the end between us...  
**_  
Allen slumped back at his bead. Tears starts to brimmed all over his face, He felt so cold and empty inside. He cried at his heart's content, exhaustion leads him into a restless slumber as nightmare of reality flashes before his very own eyes and mind.

**Sorry.. I'm sorry, Kanda.**.

**XxX**

In the next day. Lenalee had invited Allen to dine with them but the boy had refused the offer,saying he have an appointment with Komui about his innocence which is true but it is also obvious that he is avoiding a certain samurai so they let him go and do what he pleased without questioning him any further, thinking that Allen just needed some time alone.

"So,it didn't ended well, huh?" Lavi asked.

Kanda didn't answer which is enough to confirm his suspicion.

"You broke up, So sad." Lavi exclaimed with a mild mocking hurtful voice.

Lenalee whacked Lavi in the head and shout at him."Lavi!Shut up!"

"No way! You slapped him and told him that he shouldn't coming to ask crying his ass out because he didn't managed to make up with Allen!"

Lenalee avoided her gaze at him at the moment as she silently admitted her outburst yesterday. "Well..That's true! But be at least insensitive!" She scolded him.

"I won't be! It doesn't mean Allen and him break up. The world has come to its bitter end! This isn't Kanda I know!" Lavi snarled.

Kanda ignored them only mild listening at the fighting duo. It's true it wasn't like him to mopped like this but Allen had changed him more than he ever admit so it's hard to move on when a particular white-haired exorcist keep popping in your mind. He didn't know what he had done to made Allen so riled up at him that caused their separation. He wanted to learn the caused of his sudden changes. Did he had done something to offend him? Or it is because of their fight yesterday?

A soft hand touched his and Kanda looked up to see the warm understanding smile adorned in Lenalee's face as he shook her head gently. "Kanda, You haven't done anything wrong to offend Allen-kun."

So he had said that out loud huh? Just great. He's losing his grip with his emotions just because of a certain sprout.

"Then.. Why did it ended like this?" Kanda asked them, his face being shadowed by his bangs. But that enough to make him looked utterly lost.

"Knowing Allen-chan he has a good reason when he had done that so have faith in him,Kanda. I know he loved you so much as you did to him." Lavi encouraged, seemingly forgotten his earlier outburst. Talking about a bipolar rabbit.

"He is right, Kanda. Trust. Allen." Lenalee give him a gentle squeezed on his hands.

"Che. Don't talk to me like that when you two just shouted at me not to come in your aid when things gotten not so good with me and moyashi." He snorted with mild annoyance but it's his way of saying thank you.

The two merely chuckled. Bipolar idiots.

"But.. I hope so." Kanda isn't fully convinced at all. That things will ended well at them but for now he will believe in this morons and him.

Still, why did he began to loathed him so much if he loved him? Why did he gave back his present for him? And said those awful words? Did he overdid it last night?

_**'I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore so stop giving or leaving your junk in my place!"  
**_  
That wasn't their first fight but it ended dreadful this time around.

Allen had returned the ring with a firm declaration he didn't want him.. And The ring that symbol of his love for him.

_Why? Allen?_

**XxX  
**  
Allen shines with so much joy as he stared at the black box. Inside is a beautiful ring. Its gem is turquoise. His birthstone. It's truly a wonderful gift he had received from Kanda but he can't be with him and all he ever give him as the present for today is the bitter and harsh ending.

"Just...Just this once let me feel you again" Allen mumbled softly as he wear the ring on his left finger and it suit him perfectly. "Thank you for everything and loving me,Kanda."

After a moment of enjoying the object in his finger . He finally snapped in his trance as he needed to return it to the owner and he did that. Of course in the most hurtful way of returning it. Rejecting his love.

_I'm sorry..  
_  
**XxX**

"Allen, you won't last any longer therefore I suggest you to leave from the Order so you could be free from their clutches and Of course, Kanda can come with you after all both of you-" Allen cut off Komui's ranting.

"I'm tired of running away, Komui." Allen said as he closed his eyes. "I won't run away from my fate. I'm an Exorcist, Komui. We fight until our very last breath and I won't let Kanda nor the others involved in this."

"But Allen you'll die!" Komui protested.

"I know," Allen signed and opened his eyes. "You know there's nothing we can do as the order came from Lovelier and directly from The Vatican. We can't disobey it."

"But,Allen-"

"I don't care about me dying as long this can finally be over." Allen countered. "I'm the destroyer of time. I'm the only person who could do this so do me a favor keep this a secret from the others and just go along with the flow. I promised I'll bring down the Earl no matter what the cause!" Allen finished with a reassuring smile. Yet it is the smile filled with bitterness of longing and sadness. An unspoken words he might regretted soon that he hadn't told them.

"I understand." Komui lowered his head,dejectedly. "I'm sorry,Allen. I can't do anything for you at all. I hope and pray for the success of your mission."

"Don't be. And thank you for everything. Goodbye, Komui-san"

And now, he will start the second performance of his show.  
_  
Allen..please come back to us, Your home. The Order. _Komui thought bitterly as he watched the silverette leave the room filled with unspoken regrets.. Of things he won't be able to do and speak of.

**XxX  
**  
Kanda felt his knees were about to give up on him as he stared motionlessly and hopelessly at the pictures in his hands that started to slipped away and fall from the cold floor. He planned to talk with Allen once again and then he found 'this pictures' in Allen's room.

He knew about it. Allen had known about his mistakes,his sins to him.

_'It's a promise! No secret between us,okay!'_

Allen cheerful voice echoed in his head and he shut his eyes to stop the tears about to come out from his eyes. No matter what he won't cry.

No wonder Allen had hated him so much it is because of his lie, his secret affair at random people at the cold nights. But, he didn't mean that to happen. No, Every time they fight he get himself drunk and slept with various women to sate his messed up mind.

He lied..

He cheated on him..

He betrayed him..

He broke his word.. His promise..

He hurt him..

He broke his heart and trust..

He is a shame..

And Allen knew it all along. He just keeping silent and forgive him at the thought he will changed but he got fed up with his empty promises and antics so he have broke up with him..

_**Allen..  
**_  
"Kanda!"

The door crushed open,revealing an agigated Lavi.

"What?" Kanda growled at him, he doesn't want to deal with the damn stupid rabbit's antics.

Lavi ignored the murderous aura emanating at the samurai and said. "THE HQ IS BEEN UNDER ATTACK BY NOAHS AND-" He trailed off as he avoided Kanda's gaze.

"And?" Kanda pressed, starting to get annoyed.

"Well-"

"Damn it! Just finish it without stuttering!" Kanda snapped.

"Allen sided with them.." Lavi mumbled silently,still avoiding Kanda's gaze. Fearing to see his reaction.

Kanda's eyes widened at the revelation and then he instantly grabbed Lavi's shirt after his initial shock, eyes burning with unchecked rage. "You better be f*** kidding about this or I'll kill you, Baka Usagi!"

"I'm not kidding,Kanda!" Lavi protested. "Allen's fighting along side the Noah of Dreams. They're currently fighting Lenalee and Marie! We need to hurry and help those two!"

Kanda grits his teeth before dashing off.

He couldn't accept it but if Lavi words were true then he is bound to fight Allen and kill him for treason which he won't be able to do at the person he loved the most.

Lavi was about to go after Kanda when his eye caught the pictures scattered on the floor. He know this isn't time to be curious but his curiosity always get the better of him despite the dreadful situation . So, he crounched down and squinted at the pictures to get a better look at the dim room.

At every photos on the floor was Kanda with different women.

Eye widening at the images printed in the paper.

No way! Yu-chan cheated on Allen?!

Could it be this is the reason why he was favouring the Noah's right now? But Lavi has his gut feeling that there is deeper reason behind the sudden changes of the boy.

Then something caught his attention once again. A white envelope slightly hidden at the scattered pictures.

"What is this?" Lavi picked up and looked at the envelope then he found the emblem of The Vatican as the marking of seal. He immediately rips off the cover and started reading the contents. Privacy and Permission be dammed!

Again eye widening not only by shock bit as well horror and gasped at the hidden message.

If Kanda wasn't busy about his self-loathing in his misconducts then he'll find out the truth behind Allen strange and cold behavior towards them.

"The Vatican.." Lavi trailed off. "No way.. Allen was ordered to hunt down The Earl?! All by himself! Kanda must-?!"

"No."

Lavi whirled at the voice only to come and face to face with The older Bookman."Jiji! What do you mean by 'No'? This is important for Kanda to know!"

"He'll get in Walker's way if he find out and Don't forget were merely spectator of this war."

Oh how he hated when he said stuff like that. It made him feel like he was implying that he is a heartless man and all he cares is duty which isn't true because heck he is human and he can feel the heartbreak when his two best buddies about to be separated forever because of a misunderstanding. He can't let that happen!

"Well, Duty be damned! You can kill me later for this but I will tell Kanda no matter what because they're my best friends! I can't just ignored them while they hurt each other! I'm not heartless like you. Jiji!"

With that being said he run off to follow Kanda.

Bookman sighed. "My,my. Such a pain but it seems like everyone favouring with you. Marian. Including me." He speak through the golem."Now, Wake up and Get up your ass and hurry up here so we can start everything!"

His only reply was silent but he knew well The General. He won't let anything happen in his pupil within his power as he cared for him no matter how much he deny it.

The Vatican had given Allen an order to prove his loyalty at them by killing The Earl... All by himself which doesn't guarantee any survival nor success in short it's a suicide mission.

**XxX**

Kanda felt his heart stopped beating upon arriving at the area where it was reported being under attack by The Noahs and Akumas. Everything, Everyone is on the verged of collapsing.

There was Allen fighting alongside with Road trying to beat down Lenalee and Noise Marie who is barely standing at their relentless attacks just like Lavi had told him.

This shouldn't be happening but it's already playing before him, The cruel and harsh reality. The only person he had learnt to love abandoned him in the most painful way.

Allen Walker betrayed him and his friends by joining forces with the enemies.

Anger bubbled in his chest. He feel hurt as well.

Yet..

Road seems to sense his presence as she turned her attention where is currently standing.

"Oh,Lookie. Allen! The samurai finally arrived to join the party!" She exclaimed,grinning at him lopsidedly. As she pointed her candles at his direction.

Allen finally spare him a look after he knocked down both Lenalee and Noise Marie with Crown Clown, his eyes were void without any emotions. He just stared at Kanda for a seconds then he grinned at him,twistedly. Before Road could throw her candles towards Kanda. Allen had attacked him, stabbing him with his Exorcism Sword and it felt numb at first then it hurt like hell when it shouldn't be. Why is like death is pulling his limps and burning him?

Kanda screamed for the very first time in his life as he felt all his emotions stirred up. He was hurt and angry at Allen. That's right. What he was feeling isn't from his attack but at the invisible wound he cast in his heart. Yet, he can't hurt him just like what Allen's doing at him.

"That's right,Kanda Yuu. Curse me with all your might perhaps it will work but that is futile as you are about to die now." Allen pushed the sword deeper in Kanda's body not caring the blood dripping at his former lover and comrade.

"W-Why are you doing this?" Kanda managed to say even his vision started to get dim. Is it because of what I have done to you?

"Isn't it obvious? It's because I hate you." Allen stated dryly, pulling out his sword in Kanda's body as blood spattered everywhere."Farewell, Exorcist Kanda Yuu."

Before Kanda completely lost his consciousness. He thought that he had heard Allen say something at him:

_**I'm sorry. Yu..**_

No. He won't apologized. It was just his imagination.

_**..I love you,Farewell..  
**_  
Why would he say he loved him when he made it clear that he hated him and tried kill him? Yes, it's definitely just imagination,right?

**XxX  
**  
No! What have he done?! He hurt Kanda!

Allen could feel his tears聽 started to roll down from his eyes as he stared at the unconscious and bleeding figure of Kanda on the ground. He lost his grip that he didn't recognized that the fourteenth slip through surface.

"I'm sorry, Kanda..." Allen sobbed and was about to caressed Kanda's face only stopping few inches away then he shook his head gently, backing away from the man he treasured most.

No! He must not show any weakness and he can't backed out now. No matter how much stupid his reason are. It's for their sake and he's willing to do it if it's for them especially for Kanda even if means letting the fourteenth resurface just to keep them in bay.

_Baka Moyashi..  
_  
He closed his eyes and a sad smile form in his lips. " I guess, You're right. I'm stupid.."

He gathered his composure before completely leaving the place, he took another and last glance at Kanda's form despite being wounded he is still beautiful. The sad smile still gracing in his features.

"_**I'm sorry, Yu. I love you and Farewell..**_"

I hope we meet again so that I won't regret anything at all even if it's impossible.

**XxX  
**  
In his hazy mind, There's voices talking animatedly beside him and Kanda can named the owner of those voices.. It's Lavi and Lenalee.

What are they talking about?

His eyelids were heavy to open to take note of his surroundings but if he was about to guessed where he was. He will come up that he is in the infirmary or in the science division. So,he just listened to their conversation as he can't do a thing at the current time.

"I can't believe that Allen will do that-" Lenalee commented , her voice is cracking.

Oh, so they're talking about the stupid beansprout. That traitor.

Regardless of Allen's actions. Kanda couldn't find himself to hate him and wonder why is that?

It must be.. Because he still loves him?

"- I know right, I tried to pry more information on Komui and Panda but they won't say a word about Allen's suicide mission..."

Wha? Suicide mission?

At those words, Kanda's eyes snapped open and he shot up in the bed , Mugen pressing at Lavi's throat. His movement surprised the other two occupants of the room as they're not aware he is already awake.

"K-Kanda?!"

Kanda glared at them coldly. "Explanations."

Lavi gulped and handed Kanda a folded paper. "Read this. I'm certain you'll get some answers about Allen's strange behavior not only yesterday and today but also in the past weeks."

Kanda arched an eyebrow at him, removing Mugen from Lavi's neck but he took it anyway as the said piece of paper gives him a faint disturbing feeling in his chest by just looking at it. Though he could not place a finger why, and so he started to read the contents of the letter, eyes widening with both shock and horror. It was an official mission deployment letter for Allen Walker:

_Dear, Exorcist Allen Walker_

_We, The higher ups of The Central and Inspector Lovelier had finally come into conclusion on how you will prove your undying loyalty at The Vatican and Order... And that is for you to manhunt and kill The Earl all by yourself.. Consider it a self deployment mission. We will give you our full support in order for you to gained success . But you are not bound to tell the details of this to anyone in particular and If you do we will consider it as an act of treason and we'll also punished whoever you speak of this matter. That's all for now and we hope your triumph against The Earl.. We will send another letter through your golem._

_\- The Central  
_  
Kanda read it over and over again , running his eyes at the contents hoping this is just a sick joke but it wasn't.

Baka moyashi , You're seriously stupid. Carrying all the burden by yourself.

Kanda crushed the letter in his palms and stalked past the two Exorcist expecting his outburst but it never come.

"Kanda, where are you going?"

"I'll talk with the deranged scientist" He replied without looking at them as he knew the two of them are well as everything was all an act so they're not hurt at all.

"We're coming too!"

Kanda didn't respond as he walked out in the room.

**XxX  
**  
As Kanda,Lavi and Lenalee entered at the supervisor's office. Komui was smiling at them as if he had expected their arrival and their suspicion were confirmed as he spoke:

"Since, Everyone of you are here. I assumed all of you are already aware of Allen's suicide mission, Am I correct?"

All of them nodded.

Then Komui sighed and smiled sadly. "Quite stubborn is he not?"

Lenalee stepped forward before Kanda could respond. "If you are aware of the situation then why didn't you stopped him?! Nii-san!"

Komui closed his eyes and he replied, voice shaking. "I-I tried. Lenalee but you know, Allen-kun. He is a person who doesn't listen at all. His stubbornness could par with Kanda's. I keep persuading him to forget about the mission given by the Central and you know what he said?"

They had the faintest idea of Allen's response but refrain from answering so Komui went on:

_**"We're in a war and Death is inevitable. Lost lambs bound to be sacrificed In the battlefield to end these endless cycle.. And if I turned my back on this one, I will look weak in Kanda's eyes and I don't want that .. He's always protecting me just like the others so this time around it's my turn to return the favor."**_

Kanda eyes widened as he registered Komui's words.

"Fucking Baka Moyashi doesn't want to let go of his martyr complex." Kanda snarled with displeasure.

Komui chuckled lightly but it doesn't hold any mirth in it. "I know."

There's a long silence before Lavi decided to enter the pry.

"Komui.."

"Hm?" All head turns to Lavi as he approaches him and put something on his desk.

"Can you explain what is this for? I found them in Allen's room." Lavi backed away a little , letting go the object hidden in his hands. Revealing a white bottle of pills on Komui's desk.

Everyone's gaze lingers in the bottle.

"Allen's dying." Komui answered bluntly.

"What the fuck do you mean dying?"

"Parasitic innocence is rare and has consumed the life force of the one who wields it,slowly and draining it's host until there's nothing left . I'm actually surprised Allen was still standing up until now even his innocence and The Noah inside him killing him." Komui said as he took the bottle in his desk to examine if Allen's taking them and a sad smile graced in his lips. "Looks like he's not taking them. Not only he is stubborn but he is reckless and stupid as well. These pills aren't meant to sustain his innocence so it won't consumed his life force at a rapiid speed in the other words to prolong his life. And I guess The Vatican and Lovelier knows this so they send Allen on that mission."

Lenalee legs finally give in as she break down and if it wasn't for Lavi . She will collided the cold floor. "N-No,Allen-kun... This is simply too inhumane and cruel... Why?" She said between sobbed.

"Lenalee.." The others want to give her an answer but found none to give her the answer she seek and that will bring her comfort.

"It's because he is a threat to the Order." Someone answered behind them. The others stiffened especially Lenalee upon hearing the cold and callous voice.

"Oh, Inspector Lovelier. What are you doing here so late?" Komui greeted the man but there's no welcoming neither mirth In his expression and tone. It's painfully obvious he is the last person or not he wanted to see in that day.

"I came here to check the HQ after I heard what happened from Link. It seems that Walker have finally shows-." Lovelier was cut off by the very enraged Kanda who pulled him forward a bit in the air before slamming him back into the wall.

Everyone was too stunned to speak nor move to give a reaction at the sudden assault but they had expected such violent reaction from Kanda because if he didn't move, they'll do it for him.

"Allen isn't a traitor! You bastard! This is your fucking fault!" Kanda snarled at the smug look on the man's face.

Once again they're stunned because Kanda had called Allen in his real/first name not the loathed nick name Kanda gave him if Allen was here he'll be crying with pure joy upon hearing that but sadly,he isn't here.

"Let go exorcist or I'll have you punish for assaulting your superior and I'm certain a mere and lowly exorcist like you don't want to cross The Vatican." Louvelier merely said unaffected by Kanda's rage.

"Che. Superior my ass and I don't give a damn about The Vatican." Kanda hissed as he knocked the man to the ground. Mugen's sharp tip pressing up against the man's throat. "If Allen dies, I'll kill you. No, in fact I'll do it now and the stupid Central will be the next on my list." He raised his sword up ready to strike him but stopped by a hand resting onto his shoulder, he turned slightly his head to look who is the person who dared interrupt him only to see it was Komui shaking his head disapprovingly at him. "What? You're not angry for what the retard have done?!"

"I am angry Kanda but killing him won't solve anything and you're not in your proper mind right now so let me deal with him. I assume you that I'll give you satisfying news." Komui added seriously.

Kanda stared at him for moment and then shooting Lovelier a final glare before stalking out of the room leaving Komui deal with the bastard as he always takes things seriously when it's about the members of The Order because for him they're his family as well.

Komui turned to Lavi and Lenalee and they get the silent message as they went out the room instantly leaving Komui alone with Louvelier. His smile fades off as he return his gaze at Louvelier who is dusting his pants out of dirt.

"The Order is no longer under your control, Louvelier." Komui spoke calmly.

His words caught the inspector's attention as he froze in his tracks. "And what did you mean by-?"

"He meant to say he is tired with your shitty orders and he can't tolerate anymore of how you treat his family members, and that you will pay grievely for what have you done to my idiot apprentice." He heard an arrogant voice cut him.

He turned where the voice came from. His eyes opened wide as he saw who was leaning at the threshold, changing his magazine with full load, a smug smirk on his lips and he walked towards him pointing the gun at him. Cross Marian.

"Now, where should I first shot you?" He asked mockingly.

"Are you sure you will be able to pull that trigger? You will become a murderer and The Central will hunt you down." Louvelier countered.

"Like Tiedoll's brat had said Central my ass. I am not an easy opponent to be taken down easily so don't mock me and I care no less about being a murderer no one messes with my idiot apprentice except Me..." Cross scoffed. "Now, let's put an end of your pathetic existence."

And then the next thing that was heard through the entire Order was a gunshot coming from Komui's office.

**XxX  
**  
Lenalee and Lavi rushed back in the supervisor's office once they heard the gunfire.

"Nii-san?!"

"Komui, You okay?!"

Once the two entered the room. They were literally stunned to see Marian Cross alive who was reported to be dead and the other generals with Komui discussing some issues.

"-Just admit you do care about Allen-kun. Marian." Tiedoll chuckled at Cross who is silent fuming. "Otherwise you won't be here if you're not worried,right?"

Cross started swearing and low grumbles can be heard as the old exorcist continue to pester him and the others laughed along with him. Now, he is starting to regret coming back here but teaching the bastard a lesson is something he won't regret for doing that in him.

At that exact moment Komui finally noticed the presence of his younger sister and Bookman Jr. In the room,staring at them agape.

"Oh,Lenalee ! Lavi! What are you doing back here?" Komui asked calmly. Too calm for their own liking as if he's hiding something to them.

The Generals stopped their small conversation when they heard Komui's addressed the youngsters as all head turned to the direction of Lenalee and Lavi.

"Well, Um- We heard a gunshot so we rushed back here in thought Louvelier did something to you, So, Are you okay?" Lenalee explained as she look wearily at her brother to see if he is wounded or not but glad when he didn't see Amy injuries on him.

Komui blinked and chuckled lightly. "Louvelier didn't harm me, Lenalee . And even he wanted he won't be able to do it since the generals were on my side. Sorry if I caused to worry you two but I'm really fine as you can see. No injuries at all."

Lenalee heaved a sigh of relief.

"See, I told you that you were too loud." General Klaud Nine scolded Cross lightly and silently as she can.

"It can't be helped. The faster, the better." Cross grunted.

Lavi heard the exchanged of words and he looked around the room in search of the cruel inspector and surprisingly Louvelier isn't the vicinity even though the man didn't take his leave the office it's like he vanished that information made Lavi a bit uneasy as speculation forming in his head. Where is he?

"Speaking of Louvelier. Where is he? Don't tell me you guys kill him?" Lavi asked. "Not that I'm complaining or anything. Just curious." He added.

"Lavi?!-" Lenalee was about to scold him that he shouldn't be saying stuff such as that. No matter how she hated and feared Louvelier for him being a heartless b***. He is still human who deserved a second chance but stopped herself as realization struck on her. The reason behind of the gunshot. Could it be?! No way!. "Don't tell me you guys really killed him?!"

"He's alive." Cross answered simply.

There's a silence.

The other two occupant were aware there's more into the story but didn't question him any further as crossing with the red-haired general isn't right option at the moment when the aura around him screaming for blood. But whatever happened to Louvelier they knew he deserves it even Lenalee starts to think like that after she remembered all the things he had done at them. She will be hypocrite if she deny now she didn't wished that Louvelier to die after of what pain he had caused to Allen.

"Che. Stop staring like idiots and should you be making noise as the b*** isn't here anymore?" A grumpy voice commented behind them which snapped them all to their reverie.

All of them turned their attention at the voice.

"Kanda?! What are you doing here?!" Lenalee and Lavi asked at the same time.

"Che. Komui called me." He merely replied as he leaned at the threshold with a piercing gaze that bore at each one of their souls.

They turned at Komui questioningly.

Komui smiled at them for a moment before his expression turning serious. "Now, that everyone is here. We could finally begin the discussion of your correspondent missions"

"Missions?"

Komui nodded. "Yes, it almost similar but there's a difference. You, my dear Exorcist your job is to find and bring back Allen Walker to our HQ, Our home while stopping The Earl in the way of obtaining his goal that is to capture Allen. Meanwhile , The Generals and the rest members of The Order will go against the Central while doing the same as you."

They were in still in war and death is inevitable but if Allen Walker is fighting for them then they will fight for him as well. It's the least they could do to return everything he gave them.

**XxX  
**  
He can only stared remorseful at the black box near at his lotus.

"Yuu-kun?"

Oh. Freaking fabulous another nag.

He didn't want to deal with any of them so he responded them with only silence.

"It's not your fault." Tiedoll said. He's been with Kanda after the discussion of how will they do their counter attack and search. But, Alas. Kanda was too busy mulling about Allen so he didn't recognized that the old general was with him all along. And it become awful to watched silently as Kanda continue to blame and self loath himself so Tiedoll decided it's the right time to make his presence known.

"...Yes, It is." Kanda finally spoke after a long silence.

"Yuu-?"

"So, The samurai started bitching again" Cross snorted cutting Tiedoll. He was silently listening through so called 'conversation' if you can called that even one. But he choose to pry up as he got fed through the Asian's man antics. "You're not the same person Allen had fallen in love if this simple matter will keep you into halt." After saying that he'd took his leave.

Kanda didn't commented on that.

"Yuu-kun." Tiedoll called softly. "Look at me."

And Kanda did.

"Even though you can't undo all that you have done. It's never too late to right all that you've done. You only need to acknowledge both of your mistakes and then you'll find the answers inside of you. Forgive and move on, Yuu-kun."

Kanda eyes widened a bit as realization struck him.

Allen ... Never did hated him... He'd always loved him no matter what the circumstances. It's just part of his act. Allen forgive him long ago and always love him.

"I know, Thank you." Life returns at Kanda's eyes.

"Anything for my dear son." Tiedoll replied with a smile.

"I'm not your damn son for Pete's sake!" Kanda growled at him.

Tiedoll chuckled and said. "Love you too, Yuu-kun." Which earned another growl of annoyance by the said son of his but made only the latter laugh more.

But,Kanda will bring Allen back and he will tell everything. His love for him and his sincere apology.

It's alright if Allen and him didn't get back together as long as Allen is here with them that's more than enough.

**XxX**

After the incident with the HQ, Allen Walker went straight to the task at hand- hunting akuma,Noah and most importantly The Earl. But he took his time to gather more information about their secret gatherings,hideouts and plans that he could used against them in the future references. It wasn't his forte but acting without a plan might be a bitter end of him so he take it by heart the other's advice- Plan before striking.

Information gathering is a piece of cake as The Earl wanted him at the same time. More precisely The essence of The Noah inside him- The fourteenth also known as the musician. And Allen was smart enough to used it lurking in the Noahs and akuma at him despite the constant danger he is willing to take the risk in what information he could obtained at them.

The fight against them wasn't easy as he was alone in this mission. He wouldn't received any support in freeing these chained souls and against strong opponents namely Noah. If he was lucky he would be able to kill one of The Earl's proud family and get the information he needed but there's a prize in that. He would be in so much pain of the death of another Noah as if something inside him felt like died along with it and that is because of the fourteenth Noah currently residing in his body. And Allen will be left bedridden for days or weeks because of the damaged he obtained while facing them.

One time he was badly injured that his body decided to shut down on him causing the silverette to collapsed on the ground in the middle of nowhere and a snowstorm.

"God, please just kill me and put me out of my misery." Allen whimpered as he took a deep breath of the cold air trying to gather up enough energy to roll over but with no such luck. Hr can't move a single muscle so he let whatever fate struck for him.

He is tired and he won't deny that so the idea of death coming for him wasn't a bad one because he will be free.

Such a foolish and selfish desire but it is okay to be selfish sometimes, right? He could remember how many countless of time the others reprimanded him because of his selfless attitude causing him always in pain and sated- sated because he had saved a life and in pain because he was badly injured.

Humans were deceptive and horrendous creatures.

With that last strange thought darkness engulfed Allen's consciousness.

Pity he won't accomplished his task but he thought at the upcoming of his death didn't bring him fear but instead it was soothing him. How odd.

XxX

Is he dead? Hardly.

That was the very first thought ever cross at his head as he woke up from his slumber. Finding himself in a very warm and comfortable place which he silently wished to be the heavens but he knew that wasn't the case. Fate has still some plans for him and it won't just let him die out of cold. It's too easy and simple rush death perhaps it wanted to be more gruesome.

"Oh. So you're finally up. That's good." There's a light voice commented at his side.

Damn. He's really still alive.

He wanted a little more time to think that he is death to avoid or simply forget his current problems in life. Despite him cursing that he is still alive. He was also relieved because he can continue and accomplished his job.

He turned at the voice only to meet a gentle emerald eyes of a young man with a blonde hair wearing q heavy cloak for protection from the bad weather.

"Who are you? Where are we? What happened and why did you save me?" Allen asked without a falter as he pushed himself up to leaned at the headboard of the bed.

"Whoa! One question at the time, boy." The guy said as he made a tea for Allen absently commented. "Seeing you up only means your feeling much better now right?"

Allen nodded. "Yes. But it's a bit cold." Still guarded as he doesn't get his answers.

He looked at Allen. "That's natural. Alright, to answers your questions. My name is David. I'm the doctor of this little town and you are in my place. Location: Sweden. I found you knocked out cold in the middle of blizzard and as a doctor I can't find any at heart to just abandon such a sweet yet fragile looking boy to die there out of cold, It's just so heartless." He explained everything to Allen at once and he looked expectantly for his response or rather eager for him to introduced himself just like he did. And it seems like Allen heard his unheard question as he did what David can't ask. Introduce himself with a less guarded way but give him just enough.

"My name is Allen Walker and an Exorcist of The Black Order." Allen introduced himself and hastily added as he forgot to ask. "How long was I been out?"

"Don't fret. You've been out just half of the day. Well, that's what I hoped when I found you. But at any case it's nice to meet an Exorcist face to face. Now, drink this it will warm you up." David said holding out the cup of tea to the younger boy.

Since when did he start walking towards him and get there? Allen furrowed his eyebrows with suspicion mix with a slight confusion. Oh,Well. Never mind. It doesn't matter. Taking the cup from David with a mumbles of thank you, silver-blue eyes stared down into the brownish liquid , feeling the warmth blend into his hands from the porcelain then frowning as he instantly recognized the herbs been used or put into making it.

The blonde spoke first before Allen could give a comment against the tea as he notice the changed of his facial features. "By the look you're giving at the tea, I assumed you know the contents behind of it." It's a statement than a question.

Allen nodded. "It's true it will make me warm but are you trying to sedate me?"

"Perhaps," David said with a smirk before leaning down at his chair. "I'm surprised you can tell by just looking on it but I'm going to clarify things. I won't do anything to you once you drank that as I can see that you are the person will insist in moving despite of his bad condition so it's the only way I see to make you stay on bed until you are hundred percent ready to move again."

Allen eyes widened. This guy is dangerous his gut been saying to him. Because he can read him pretty well like Kanda.

"Don't look so stunned it's not a big deal to fuss about it. It just that I can read people by chatting with them on few minutes and their chi. And I could tell you boy carrying a heavy burden and quite a stubborn one to back down." David shrugged.

Allen scoffed before answering David. "To answer your question on how I know the tea contents. It's simple during my younger days, people used to try and drug me. They used stuff that's much stronger than this." Gesturing his tea. He had said it like it's a normal circumstances.

David was perturbed by the thought of what the boy had gone through during his childhood.

There's an uneasy silence clinging in the air then David decided to break them since he was the one who is uncomfortable at the new information from the boy.

"Hmm~ I don't have any one with me at the moment so you can stay here as long as you like and if you're hungry tell me, Kay?" David winked.

"Thank you, Mr. David." Allen smiled. The tension slowly fading.

"Welcome. And please Mr. Walker stop with the formalities. I'm only twenty" David replied with a slight displease tone.

"Alright. David but you should do the same thing to me. It sounded weird and just like you I hate formalities and polite etiquette." Allen chuckled.

"Sure, Allen."

Allen give him a genuine smile that caused David look startled a bit but eyes softening at him.

"But seriously. You're a doctor at a tender age that's awesome." Allen praised.

"It's nothing serious unlike your job." David exclaimed and Ao their endless chattering started completely forgetting about the tea and just simply enjoying each other company as both of them already forgotten the warmth of somebody's company.

And Allen was more glad and happy that David didn't questioned about his personal affairs and letting him stay without charges. He had found another good friend that he will cherish and protect which reminded him.. His friends at The Order- his home and especially Kanda.  
_  
How are you doing , Kanda? I missed you..._

_Do you miss me? I guess you don't ... Because you hate me now,right?  
_  
That's alright because with that he know Kanda can move on as long as he hated him. It will be easy to forget about their relationship. Oh,how wrong Allen with that thoughts.

**XxX  
**  
"Beautiful-?!"

.

SNAP!

.

CRASH!

"Yuu-" Lavi abruptly stopped, gulping nervously as Kanda give him a nasty glare silently daring him to continue out his words and then there will be no more sunrise for the Bookman Jr. so he corrected his sentence fearing for his own life. "I mean, Kanda calm down. We don't want to make a scene here, don't we?"

Too late, The said Kanda on the other hand completely ignoring him once again and resume beating the old geezer who had dare to touched him few minutes ago and calling him 'beautiful' because he thought Kanda was a 'SHE' at first but Lavi did bother corrected him in fear of bloodshed may occurs and just liked he feared it is currently happening and none of the employees nor customers bother to stopped Kanda as the immediately understood crossing with the foul Japanese man isn't a very wise idea so they let him beat the old geezer.

Lavi sighed at his friend's antics.

They were in a local bar in America as it was reported to be sighted of the whited-haired exorcist namely Allen Walker been there so they instantly went at the said bar to check if the rumors were true and it is. But, sadly, Allen isn't in the rae anymore. It's been two months since he had left the order and do his suicide mission still there's no sign of him.

There's a startled gasp that brought Lavi out of his reverie and the voice demanded with a huff. "Kanda! Stop! You are killing the poor guy!"

Oh. It's Lenalee. Thank goodness! She finally came back!

The female exorcist went to gather information of the whereabouts of their missing friend more precisely run away friend as he was hiding away from them at the same time.

Kanda instantly let go of the poor guy with a scoff and Lenalee started lecturing him which he just stayed quiet as he listen to the girl without any remorse. Seriously, why does Kanda only listens to girls especially Lenalee? He needs to fixed that attitude and temperant of his but if he does then it won't be fun anymore. Lavi mused.

Lavi didn't want to interrupt the two exorcist when Lenalee 's giving her strict nature because she's quite scary at the moment but then again he rather disturb them than to stay in this area when people were starting to whisper and their piercing yet judgmental gaze directly at them. It's very uncomfortable feeling so he did what he thought will be his death sentence.

"Are you guys done?" Lavi interrupted, earning quite a nice reaction from the two. The female exorcist giving him a rather a nasty deadly glare and a scowl with the Asian man which made the latter twitch a little yet torn between snickering as he thought they will be best partner of devil in disguise. "So?"

"Fine, let's go." Lenalee huffed irritatedly after mumbling some string of apologies at the said establishment before stalking out followed by Kanda and Lavi.

"So?" Lavi started.

Lenalee arched an eyebrow. "So?"

"So did you able to get any information about Allen?" Lavi inquired.

Kanda went rigid at the mentioned of the white haired boy's name and Lavi was aware that he is eager to hear the news from Lenalee as he was dying to see his former lover in these past two months.

Lenalee sigh dejectedly. She didn't want to tell them the same thing but that's the only answer she could give them after asking about Allen. She shook her head gently almost tiredly. "Nothing."

Lavi cursed lightly. "Damn, Allen-chan really knows how to conceal himself from those person whose after him and that's why it won't be easy to find him,right Kanda?"

Kanda grunted. "Shut up, Baka Usagi!"

"Aww~ Yuu-chan misses his little moyashi and want to cuddle-" Lavi didn't finished his words as Kanda started chasing him with Mugen while spatting vehemently. "I'LL KILL YOU!"

Lenalee giggled at the scene. She's glad that there spirits haven't gone down despite there's no progress in their search for two months.

But, She knew Lavi was right.

Kanda did missed Allen that hr always sneak out at night to gather information and to search of Allen in hope at encountering him during his nightly escapades.

But at the same time she can't helped but to wonder if the boy is doing fine and she could only hoped he is safe whenever he is at the moment.

_Just wait for us, Allen.. We'll find you and saved you!  
_  
**XxX  
**  
There's no forever and permanent so everything is just illusion.

Allen eyes were closed as he relishing the moment of peaceful silence as his mind race back in his happy moments in the past when all of the sudden-

"What are you doing, Allen?"

Allen eyes shot open at the chirpy voice and look around frantically at the sudden intrusion of peace. Finding David behind him causing the whited-haired boy jumped a little at the other sudden presence as he completely didn't feel nor hear him come near at him.

"Damn David! You could've given me a heart attack. Felt like you almost did." Allen said with a scowl while trying to calmed his hammering heart beat.

"Hey, I didn't mean to scare you. Sorry." David give both an apologetic and sheepish smile then he went on. "I'm just wondering what are you doing at the moment that you turn so quiet and seemingly out of the world."

Allen blinked at him before motioning the papers on the desk. "I'm just writing."

"Writing of what? A letter?" David pressed as he peered at the younger ones' works. He haven't let Allen set back off to his journey because of two reasons; Firstly, the weather is worse than ever and Secondly,His wounds aren't completely healed because the brat always sneaking out in his bed. And so David was having a hard at keeping him in bed so he often sedate Allen from preventing him moving too much so he could recover at his hundred percent best.

"A journal?" David tried not to snicker at how feminine the boy acted by doing such girly stuff and Allen looks like one as he instantly covered his mouth by his hand to ceased down his laughter. "Y-you.. Writing a journal?"

Allen frowned and look offended as it seems he is able to read the latter of thinking about him."It's not funny. I know it's a feminine stuff but I want to write something about myself, about my life before completely forgotten who am I and lose myself from the person isn't me. And when that day comes I'm nothing but I want those dear me to be able to reminiscences, remember the things about the fragments that tells who Allen Walker really is. And it might lessen down his regrets in life..." He grits his teeth at the obvious frustration and discomfort about the subject. Allen knew his memories were starting to fade as new ones resurfacing through him. It wasn't his but it belongs to the damned Noah inside him!

He wouldn't lose to the fourteenth!

He wouldn't forget ! He didn't want to forget..

David rendered silent as he stared blankly at Allen with unfathomable expression as he processed Allen's words. His losing grip in himself.. And David didn't want that.

Allen turned his gaze at the blonde guy and he was surprised to see him crying.

"David! Wha!?-" Allen started and stared with alarm but been efficiently cut off by David who immediately apologized and ran off the room.

"Wait!" Allen followed David after he recover from his initial shock as he silently cursed himself for whatever wrong he had done to the doctor. He tried to search the entire house but the doctor isn't in the vicinity and he was about to set out the house but the weather is quite disturbing and he'll die before he made three steps forward.

Where the hell did David go and why did he cry all of the sudden?

Allen was certain he was just here and didn't hear the front door opening, signaling the man didn't leave the house. So how the hell did he disappear just like that? As if he just managed to teleport himself somewhere using some sort of machine like the ark. Allen shook his head at the silly thought, it's impossible for David to be a Noah or is it?

Then he caught a glimpse of plant in a pot near at David's office. Allen immediately known what plant that is-FENNEL.

How ironic.

The plant means lies and deceit... Yes,it mostly represent deception.

Just like him.

Everything about him is a lie to begin with..

But he was real,right? Not just a figment of illusion?

These memories and feelings were only his,right? Nobody else?

There is still real him,right?

His feelings isn't a lie,right?

But.. Why does he felt something is off in him?

What his name? Ah- Allen Walker,right?

Then the white-haired exorcist could only wait anxiously for the man to came back as he battled with his inner demons or rather his sanity.

**XxX**

"David!"

David had no time to dodge the hug. It sent him crashing to the floor with the cheeky brat embracing him.

"Ugh.. Road! What the hell?!" David whined.

"I missed you! No, we missed you! You hardly ever come around anymore!"

Road cried before returning in embracing or more basically choking the life out of him.

"R-Road! S-s-stop! C-can't breath!" He could feel the living daylights of him being sucked out by the ever optimistic girl.

"Road, stop that. You'll kill the poor guy." Tyki ordered.

"Aww.. But Uncle Tyki I-"

"If he dies then the Earl will be mad and you don't want him to be mad at you,right?" Tyki said, cutting off effectively Road's whining.

Road pouted at Tyki but released the blonde guy as she take it into consideration. She wouldn't like if The Earl get mad at her  
And lost a family member then a face of white-haired boy crossed in her mind...

Allen Walker.

On the other hand David gasped and panting for the air supply he almost lost when Road had choked out the life force of him. Tyki seems right if Road hadn't stopped then he would likely die due to the lack of oxygen. He cursed vehemently as he wasn't used about the girl's antics.

Tyki walked at him, offering his hand to help him up while the girl who nearly killed him just dancing around the room, humming as if she found out something interesting which she did.

David gladly took the offer using it to steady himself as he wobbled a little and mumbled "Thanks"

"No problem," Tyki nodded curtly before he went on. "So, what brought you here? It's rare for you to visit unless it's business with The Earl or an important matter."

David was about to answer when Road all of the sudden enter the pry again.

"Uncle Tyki. That shouldn't be the thing you asking from him." Road scolded.

Tyki sighed tiredly. "Then, tell me what should I ask him first, Rode if it wasn't business matters?"

"He just got here so asked him if he want something to drink or food to eat!" Road chimed.

Tyki didn't asked that because he already knew his answer but he did comply at Road's request as he didn't want to deal with her tantrums this late at night. "Do you want something to drink? You know we have tons of the finest wines here or food if you're hungry.. If you want anything?"

"No." With that, David continued standing by the door,waiting.

"See? Road, this guy is always down with the business." Tyki muttered, moving his gaze at Road then back to David. "So your questions?"

"The Earl. I want to talk with him. Where is he?" David demanded straight to the business.

"Garden." Tyki replied simply.

David nodded as he whisked straight to where The Earl is supposedly to be.

Tyki cast a last curious glance at David retreating form before slumping back on the couch. "So, What did you think he'll talk with The Earl?"

"Dunno. Although it seems interesting ~" Rode hummed.

Tyki arched an eyebrow and said. "You know that I don't believe that shit,don't you? I know you already figured out what his reasons for coming here. So mind sharing it with me?"

Road grinned lopsidedly at him. "Yup! Correct!~ But if I were to tell you now then the fun will be spoilt! So you have to wait a bit longer, Uncle Tyki~"

Tyki snorted. Sometimes there is a battle he can't win against Rode and this is one of it. "Fine. I will let go of the matter but in one condition."

Rode tilted her head curiously. "What is it?"

"Let's watch his conversation with The Earl."

**XxX  
**  
He will protect him...

"Ah David! What brings you to my humble adobe?" Earl asked as he watered the flower.

David twitched a little as he entered the garden area. To be honest it wasn't a garden but Earl suggests it to be called that way. It was actually the graveyard for their dead family members or a failed creation of akuma being disposed at this area. And it sent him the chills watching the Earl water the dead flowers in the new addition of tombstone. Insane, Indeed.

"Let me deal with the fourteenth." David said bluntly completely ignoring the sudden stiffening of the other. "I'll bring Allen Walker to you."

"Oh, so you have found my dear fourteenth, David?" The Earl asked with a sickening sweet tone as the ever grin on the man's face won't fade away. The Earl knew that Allen Walker was the one who'd caused of the deaths in his family these past months and he will gladly give a credit for the young exorcist of his excellent job of not being caught in action.

No, Allen was his.

"No, not yet." David scowled. "But, I want you to let me play with him ever I've seen him before I bring him at your care."

I won't let you have him. He's mine.

The Earl's grin grew even wider if that's possible. "Do as you wist at Allen Walker but the fourteenth is mine. Is that all?"

Both them are mine. Mostly Allen Walker.

"Yeah. Good evening Earl and Farewell.." David took his leave without awaiting for The Earl's response.

The Earl finally spoken when David is out of earshot. "I'll be watching you my dear _**Noah of Possession."  
**_**  
XxX**

"So, it's about the Shounen huh? Well,I'm not surprised." Tyki grunted. It took him some quite time to make Rode agree with him to watched the conversation of David and the Earl. The only way he managed to persuade her is when he promised he will accompanied her to hunt and play with the exorcists.

"Yeah. Allen sure is loved but at the same time despised." Rode smiled sadly.

"Who?"

"Secret~!" Road smiled return full force. What a bipolar brat.

Tyki rolled his eyes,shrugging as he went on. "By the way do you believe David's telling the truth?" There's something Tyki find him suspicious. David sudden interest at Allen Walker when he didn't even bother to go in their meetings about him- the fourteenth. As if he's planning something that will be either their doomed or victory. "He's planning something against us."

Rode grunted. "The Earl knows he lies and it will be fun to watch from the sidelines of what will happen next that's what Earl been thinking."

"Why don't you just say it simple and don't say things like that it doesn't suit you." Tyki grumbled.

Rode giggled. "Sorry. It's fun to act like that ! Anyways, Yeah he's lying cuz' he knew where exactly my Allen is and David wanted him all by himself as he is The Noah of Possession which I can't let happen. But before we hunt them Let's go. Uncle Tyki! We have an appointment with the whiny Exorcist~! Things getting more interesting and fun!" She jumped out of the couch and Tyki followed her towards the gate.

Tyki stopped and a grin spreading in his lips.

True to her words things getting more fun and interesting due to the fact Allen is doing everything in his power to fight them not just him but another member from their family decided to aid him in his battle.

"Give us, An outstanding performance, Shounen then perhaps you'll be able to win against us.. Your family."

XxX

Troublesome.

David thought with disdain as he returned back to his house an hour later after his encounter with his family which he find extremely annoying and troublesome as never did he dreamt he would do or say something crazy and selfishly a demand at them but he alraedy have done that for the sake of one petite boy currently on his care and whom he find himself enthralled and infatuated with. Speaking of Allen, David was greeted by the sleeping form of the said boy sitting on his armchair probably had fallen asleep while waiting and worrying the hell out of him about the episode happened between them leaving a very perplex Allen at his sudden changed of demeanor and disappearance.

David could practically see that even in his sleep, Allen was never relax as he always been hunted by his own phantoms also well known called as nightmares and he has an idea what it can possibly be. But despite of everything he never made any physical contact in the boy, drawing any physical comfort nor waking him up because if he did touch him all his restrain from himself will all be broken.

**I won't touch you as I was never to be the one who hold your heart.  
**  
David clenched his fist, knuckles turning white at how strong his grip on his own.

**I must warned you so that I could not lose you even it's idealistic.**

David knew his sudden visit at them will stir suspicion and he would place a solid gold that the other members in his family still alive namely Tyki and Road are in their way to get them.

Restrains be damned!

Throwing all his resolve of not touching the boy. He walked straight at him, touched him and David felt something snap inside of him as he carried the sleeping figure back to his room. David's skin slowly turned ashen grey,eyes becoming cold bronze amber and crosses appeared in his forehead. The Noah inside him finally resurfaced.

**I don't care anymore if you hated me after this... I won't be stopped anymore.. Tonight, you'll be mine.  
**  
He set down Allen in his bed and touched his forehead, dark energy forming in his hands and he's submitting the dark aura to Allen, then something unexpected happened Allen's eyes shot open as a bloodcurdling scream torn in his lips caughting David off guard as a white massive energy surrounded Allen's petite figure and that blasted David straight to the nearest wall.

Allen's head turned at David,eyes glossed with white combined with a tint of gold and his voice barely sounded a human anymore. **"I won't let you take my memories. Not you and even him nor anyone will take them away from me. I won't let you, I'll kill you with my own hands if you dare tried to touch my memories and soul again. Noah!"** With that warning his eyes closed again and his limp form fall back to his bed and the white aura him dissipated as if nothing happened.

David shook his head as his skin color returned his normalcy so his eyes color, the stigmata on his head disappeared. He glanced at the sleeping form of the white-haired exorcist and smiled grimly. "Well, I should figured that his innocence and The Noah will protect him against _his enemy_." He stood up and walked straight back to Allen's bedside, pulling up the bed sheets to shield him from cold before walking out in the room. He doubt that Allen would remember an occasion like this, it's painfully obvious it wasn't him that attacked him and David decided not to tell him about tonight's strange events. But, tomorrow he will talk with him about everything including in revealing his own feelings at the boy. For now, he will take rest as he was exhausted throughout everything occurred in this day.

As he walked out in the room, Allen's eyes snap opened and stared at the ceiling for a moment then he smiled sadly and said at no one in particular. "I thought so too."

In the next day, David had woken up in the usual time and he was quite surprised to see Allen standing in front of his room with his belongings and wearing his Exorcist uniform.

"Allen, wha?-"

"Good morning , David." Allen greeted but he wasn't smiling at him. His face were fierce and serious.

"Alle-?"

Allen cut him off again as he speak at him with bluntness. "I'm sorry about last night. I guess I was surprised as someone dare to touched something important to me and I'm sorry if I can't never return your feelings"

David stared at him in silent awe. He didn't think that Allen was aware of everything including his feelings.

"Y-you knew?" David asked in a meek tone.

Allen nodded. "I always have suspicion and last night proven them. Don't worry, I don't hate you for being Noah and by doing that. But if you get in my way I won't hesitate to strike you down."

David nodded with understanding. "Do you really need to leave?" There's an akin desperation in hidden in his tone and eyes.

Allen smiled sadly at him. "I thank you for everything but you know I have a task that I needed to accomplished and if I want to do that I have to leave."

David was silent for a moment, his expression is undecipherable at the moment but Allen could clearly see the storm forming in his eyes and then he looked up in Allen's silver-blue eyes for moment and Allen was about to say something at the long pause-silence but David stopped him by putting his fingers at his lips and shook gently his head. "Don't. I completely understand. Your love for me is different from this Kanda person. And you're right, I do have feelings for you, Allen Walker. So just this once would you let me kiss you and heed for my selfish request? It's not like you were cheating on your beloved."

Allen furrowed his eyebrow with slight irritation. "So you were reading my entries!"

David avoided Allen's gaze at the moment at the fear of murder. Then he heard Allen sighed and said. "Nevermind, it can't be helped. Anyways, so you still want to kiss me?"

David snatched glances at the boy, a faint blush appeared in his face and number softly."Yes.."

"Alright, Just this once for everything." Allen said with a soft smile. But, David didn't moved an inch as he was far too stunned that Allen paid heed to his request and agreed. He didn't expected that as it was too much to ask.

Another exasperated sigh heard from Allen then before David could mutter a word, The younger boy pulled his shirt and slammed his lips softly to his. David was shocked at the sudden action of Allen but soon recovered from his initial shock as he reciprocated from the kiss, tasting every inch of Allen's sweet cavern and embracing tightly the boy, pulling him closer into his body as he carved every sensation he got from the boy to his mind not wanting to forget any moment of this last chance to feel,touch and kiss him with burning passion. It took all his restrain not to ravished completely and let the moment get into him so when he felt that he is losing resolve not to take the boy in his arm he had pulled away from the kiss and bent down to his ear not glancing at the hazy yet sad silver eyes that he could tell it was the feeling of the boy directly to him, Then. David whispered gently. _**"I'm the Noah of Possession, I protect and cherish what I think belongs to me but you will never mine but you are important to me therefore I'll help and protect you against my family and The Earl.. Thank you and Goodbye"  
**_  
Before Allen could open his mouth to say something the gate appeared behind him and David pushed him gently towards it. And the last thing he saw before completely parting with David is satisfied smile adorned in his lips which made a single tear rolled Down on Allen's cheeks and he returned the smile as he disappeared out of his sight.

_**I wish for your happiness and freedom..  
**_  
As soon as the gate disappeared, David's front door burst opened, revealing the disheveled ashed man.

**"Well, This is a pleasant surprise. What could you possibly doing here in my territory early in the morning, Noah of Pleasure?"** David voice dropped into a dangerous octave as he slightly turned to face a very disarray Tyki. His eyes molten gold.

"Where is he?" Tyki growled at him.

"He?"

"The shounen!"

"Please elaborate." David voice laced with sarcasm but holds an edge.

"Allen Walker!"

That's the cue, David charged at Tyki without warning that caught Tyki off guard as he got fatal wound from his very own family member. David didn't care the consequences of his action all matters it will lessen Allen's burdens. David couldn't sense Road anymore so he had a pretty good idea who silenced the girl for good. Kanda Yu. The Earl will come to warrant his punishment for treason after this but like he said it doesn't matter, Everything is for Allen and he always the man with his words. He'll helped and protect him from his family even it cost his own life.

David give his finally blow by putting all the pressure and dark matter in his fist before punching it to Tyki's chest, severing all the important vital from his heart and lungs, giving him a rather slow yet hard death.

"Why-?" Tyki managed with a weak voice. "How could you betrayed your own family just because of a boy?"

David arched an eyebrow , looking at him incredulously and replied with a cold tone. "I'd never consider you idiots to be my family. For me you guys are just pests that needed to be wiped out. And, pray tell me. Tyki why should I not help Allen when he is doing the thing I wanted the most? Plus he is worth of everything I gave him a credit for,"

"You'll regret ever helping the Shounen but I seriously have fun fighting you and the Shounen as you he is worth of..." Tyki voice trailed off as he slowly become nothing but a dust.

Another one is down. Only one person is left and that is the leader.

"I bet the Earl is furious." David commented idly as he looked around in his house then his eyes caught something rather important setting atop from his desk. He walked over to get a better view of the object that caught his attention and was surprised to see none other than Allen's journal. He picked up and a small folded paper fell from inside. He bent down to take it and began reading the contents of the letter despite having a faint idea what could be written inside. After finishing reading it, David sighed and chuckled. "Seriously, Allen are you asking for my early death sentence? Fine. I'll give it to him.. Your most important hidden feelings and message for him.. Only because you are worth it."

**XxX  
**  
Kanda was having a bad day and he is rather in a bad mood as well. No, he was furious as he remembered what the Noah of Dreams shown him last night- on how he f*** up his relationship with Allen via letting him experience the pain he inflicted in Allen. And Kanda almost lost in his battle but a warm sensation covered his entire form, caressing his soul as if reassuring him everything is fine. That snapped Kanda back in reality and bring Road down in her own dream world.

But.. She was right, Allen wouldn't never come back to him after what he did-

Kanda's thought were interrupted by a soft knock outside his door.

"It's open." Kanda grunted. He didn't want to deal with anyone in particular but it might be about Allen so he couldn't ignore them.

The door cracked open and Lenalee and Lavi come in.

"What?"

The two exchanged worried glances and said in unison. "You have a guest."

"Huh?"

"Someone wanted to see you and talk with you."

"Then, why don't you idiots let this person inside so we could get into business."

"But,Kanda-"

A calmed voice cut short their conversation. "That's certainly not the attitude you should show with your comrade. I wonder what Allen see in you."

All heads turned at the voice. Kanda's eyes widened. "You-?!" It's the guy that Road shown Allen's having an affair with in one of her dreams.

"Good day, Exorcists. It's nice to you see in person. I believe I have something that might interest you.. Kanda Yu. By the way, the name's David"

Kanda snarled at them. "You morons! Why did you let a fucking Noah inside?!"

The two exorcists didn't respond.

"Che. I'll kill -"

"No. You can't do that. You won't be able to know what I came here for."

"Che, then pray tell me. What is your reasons of being here?"

David sighed and throw the thing he's been holding at Kanda and turned to leave as Kanda caught the notebook but stopped abruptly as he said. "That holds the key everything you want to know about Allen's past and current condition including his feelings and thoughts about you guys. And by the way, the last battle against The Earl and Allen Walker will occurred 3 months from now. At the date you were born Kanda Yu, June 6. Location: England."

"Why are you doing this? You might be lying with us and set a trap for our downfall. So tell us why would we believe in you?." Lenalee inquired.

David closed his eyes as he already expected that question and prepared an answer for it and opened his eyes and replied. "Because I wouldn't never lie about Allen as I can't do it for I learn to care the boy though it's up with you people to if you're going to believe me. If that's all of your questions then goodbye. Exorcists." The gate appeared before them.

"Hold on!" Kanda's sharp voice put halt into his movement. "How did you know all of that and how did you meet moyashi?"

David turned slightly at him. "I'm the Noah of Possession, All I think of mine I've known everything about them including what will happen in their future. And to answer you how I met your former lover, I saved him from a snowstorm as it was my job to helped people in need due to my human occupation." He stepped in the gate and smirked teasingly at Kanda as he added hastily. "I bet Road messed up with your mind last night about Allen and me having an affair but rest assured Kanda Yu I wouldn't never take something will never be mine though his lips were absolutely sweet and soft."

Too bad, Kanda thrown Mugen too late as it missed David because the gate already closed and disappeared in a flash.

"Damn, I should have attack him!" Kanda fumed angrily.

Lenalee whacked him in the head. "Kanda, be thankful. I can see he didn't mean any harm against us and telling us the truth about Allen so that's the reason we let him in and believe in him."

"She's right. Yu-chan stop being a jealous prick as you did-" Lavi shut his mouth instantly as he meet the murderous yet daring glare of the female exorcist and changed the topic. "Why don't you read what Allen written for us, Kanda?"

Kanda looked at the black leathered notebook in his hands.

_**Allen...  
**_  
"No. We will let you read it alone" Lenalee said as she grabbed Lavi by the ear and walked towards the door but Kanda stopped them as he would share it with them as they also have the right to know what is written inside.

The two didn't bother to object anymore as they heed to Kanda's request and so Kanda began reading aloud Allen's journal. Everything he bottled inside all of this time against them and him.

**XxX  
**  
David hadn't been surprised was an understatement of the knowing presence inside of his house as he already seen this coming. As he stepped in the living room, he saw the Earl kneeling down while observing a plant that he bought long time ago.

"Ah, Welcome back. David" The Earl greeted him but didn't give him a glance. Despite his cheerful tone and never fading smile adorned his lips. David could easily tell that he was beyond furious due to uncalled actions and it could lead to his untimely death if he didn't cooperate with him which he intended to do at the very beginning.

"My,my. This is a pleasant surprise to pay me a visit but truth to be told I find it quite irritating to see you inside of my house without my permission. So,pray tell me Why are you here? Are you going to put end of my life, _Adam_?" David voice was devoid with emotions as he throw daggers at the Earl's back.

"Hmm.. You have such quite a weird taste for plans, my dear David." The Earl commented idly,completely ignoring David's statement as he stood up with the plant in his hand as he turned at him and continued. "Why would you want a plant which meant deceit?"

David let out a sigh of exasperation."My interest in plants is none of your business. Now, why don't you get to the point why you are here in the first place."

"So impatient. But I think you already knew why I am here to begin with, My dear another little traitor Noah" He set down the plant to the table.

"I do. But I wouldn't give you answers and would rather than die before you have them."

Blunt as always and I kinda figured you'll say that but I'm still going to ask-"

David cut him off by completing his sentence. "You'll ask me about Walker's future and if I say a thing about it. You might spare my life and forget my crimes of killing your _little_ _deranged family_."

The Earl chuckled. "Ah, that's a little bit cruel for you to say about your own family. And You're right. I want to know about Allen Walker's fate. You know it don't you, after all you touched his soul."

David scowled. "That's correct. I touch his soul that's the reason I know what would happened in his future. But do you honestly believe I'll tell you a thing about it? Just because you might spare my life. Bullshit." Yes, he lied partly when he told the exorcists of how he found out the future for his sake and Allen's as a human's mind is corrupted in its own way."And, don't tell me you will teach me a lesson because of my misbehavior. But let me tell you... The thing you wanted most the knowledge of your own future.. There's only one word to describe it..** Death.**"

In one blurred motion, The Earl stabbed David with his sword and Akumas appeared in the scene surrounding them.

"Pity, you are one on my favorites. But you choose Walker against us and spout nonsense of my future. I'm invincible!"

David chuckled,blood slipping down from his mouth as he cough spasms. "You invincible? Don't make me laugh. You are scared that someone you cared will be the one caused your own downfall and death. That's right. You wanted to make up for Allen,don't you. _Mana_? That's why you're trying so hard to get Allen."

**"Shut up! You don't know anything at all!**" For the first time the grin on his face disappeared and turned into an angry scowl as The Earl sneered at him as he simultaneously strike David and The akumas started to fire bullets in their direction.

"Oh, I know everything about your regrets in life. _**Mana..**_ You wanted to revive Neah but at the same time you don't want to lose Allen.." David taunted once again The Earl.

Before , The Earl could do or say something. David's mouth started to move but there's no sound coming from it and he smiled as he raised up his head in the colorless sky. Then a strong gust of wind force to separated them and when the wind died down David was nowhere in sight.

The Earl cursed something under his breath. "I won't die by his hands, I'll get what I want! I'll find **him**." But David's words keep echoing in his head like a broken record.

There's a cold wind blow in his way and David's voice rang through the entire area even though he wasn't there anymore. "**You won't find him until the right time.. Yes, the day of your death is the only time you'll see him.**"

But The Earl pay no heed at the voice and went to search for the boy through the following days and he was right, he wasn't able to find him at all and the only day he had see him is the designated date of his battle with Allen.

**XxX  
**  
Allen stopped striking the Akumas as he felt unusual yet familiar sensation."David..." The name of his friend rolled out in his lips as he know that he wasn't here anymore and before he could mourn for him, a single tear rolled down his cheeks and a soft yet genuine smile appeared at his face as the wind caress him. "Thank you for telling me..I'm glad." With that he went on his task.

.

.  
"...He still has a little humanity left in him- ".

.  
XxX

**(A/N: This is the narration or longer part of the present happenings which includes the fight between Allen and The Earl. And after that)**

**London,England (Present few hours before the first part)  
**  
The fateful and dreadful day have finally arrived. And Kanda stared at the deserted town. Everyone was evacuated during the night for their personal safety and now,the only living souls in the city were the Generals,Bookman and the Exorcists who were stationed at different points of the city. And at the moment everything was dead silent but later it would be like a big bang due to the lot of noises. The noises of War and destruction.

Kanda turned his gaze at the dark sky, it was filled with heavy clouds which threatened to pour down and shower them with its coldness and misery. Just like the atmosphere, cold and gloomy completely matched one certain Exorcist's mood.

"Geez, Yu-chan stop frowning so much!" An annoying yet playful voice boomed behind the dark haired exorcist.

Kanda instantly whirled,hand tightened at the hilt of Mugen and growled at the red haired " . . ' . . .Moron.!"

"Whatever you say,Yu-chan" Lavi grinned, totally ignoring the threat thrown directly at him. "But seriously stop worrying too much, Your mood is affecting the Gloomy."

"My mood is none of your business." Kanda sneered. "But if you go and jump off the cliff I'll be singing in joy so fuck off. Baka Usagi."

"Ouch,harsh much Yu?" Lavi said with a mockful hurt. "Can't you see I'm here to give you a company so you won't look so sad?"

"Who the hell tell you I'm sad? I'm not sad! I'm pissed off and I'm gonna-!" Kanda didn't completed his sentence as a loud voice rang through the area warning by saying 'AKUMAS!' and the entire area turned into a battlefield.

Kanda was about to jumped into fight when a hands on his shoulders put stopped his movements. He turned and see the two smiling faces of Lenalee and Lavi.

"Kanda,Let us deal with them." Lavi suggested with that he went to fight alongside with the others leaving Lenalee to say the rest of things he wanted to tell at Kanda.

"Kanda-kun. Don't worry about the akumas. Lavi and I will take care of them while you should go and search for Allen-kun." Lenalee smiled. "No matter what happens. We will be here for you. So have faith and everything will turn out fine.." Lenalee let go off Kanda and went after Lavi.

Kanda clenched his fist and bit off his lips. He never liked his birth date and the rain due to every time it comes; nothing good happens. But for this one moment he wished and prayed that it will be different than the last. He wanted to believe in the illusion that everything will be alright even though it's an obvious lie. Because he wanted a change.. A happy one.

Kanda ran off and searched Allen.

Yes, he wanted to be happy with Allen even if it's just an illusion.

**XxX**

" 's raining." Allen mumbled softly as he felt the brush of the coldness of the rain. "Are you crying for his sake or it is mine? No matter what.. The outcome is already final. There's nothing left in the end.. Only despair and bitter tears of regret but.."

**XxX**

Complete chaos ensued the entire place and the rain bringing much melancholy in the atmosphere as people lost their lives in the process of fighting for their survival and peace.

Kanda didn't care. All matters to him at the moment is to see him and make sure he is safe. He searched through the entire place but he couldn't find him anywhere. Could it be the damned Noah lied to them? If so he'll fucking murder him!

Even so he still looked around him. Where are you moyashi?

And as to answer his silent question, the sound of an explosion told him where Allen is. Kanda hurried there,and when he arrived at the spot a minute later, his eyes widened in horror as everything is painted with the pool of blood. Not just by a blood of an ordinary blood of people but Allen's. His form is already mangled of various and severe injuries but the silver haired boy seemed oblivious at his state at the moment as he stand up easily again as The Earl strike him again though he blocked it and Kanda's presence as he busied himself on facing the Earl. Kanda was about to call him but he was stunned at the next revelation. What shocked him were the next words came out in the brat's mouth:

"What's the matter, _**Mana**_? Can't kill me because you still cared for me or it's because of your dear brother is inside me? Or could it be there's still humanity in you?" Allen taunted. The expression of The Earl darkened at his words and Allen forced out a mirthless chuckle by his grim expression and went to taunt him once again but his voice laced with seriousness. "What's the matter do you regret on deceiving me or you can't choose at all simply because for you both me and the Noah inside me is important? Both your beloved family? But who cares. It won't changed anything at all even you regretted it the outcome will remained the same, You inflicted me pain, You tainted this world therefore to me you are nothing but The Earl who I've known to have a twisted logic of a peaceful world not The Mana who taken care of a unwanted boy in the streets so don't expect me to hold back because I find out the truth of your identity. I'll kill you as it's my duty as an Exorcist and Destroyer of Time" Allen pulled his sword at the ground and glared at the disgusting creature of the man who he once believed the one of the kindest being in this world but it seems like everything was just lie but David's still echoing in his head and if that is true then it will be easy for him to finished this even it's lead to his unlikely death. Everything at the moment is still crystal cleared but soon everything will be nothing as the Noah inside him took over. He needed to hurry before that happens.

Kanda was in state of shocked. The Millennium Earl is Mana? The same person who took care of Allen?

Kanda's musing been penetrated when he heard steels meet together. The battle went on after a moment of stillness. But there something different in the way The Earl's fighting it become slower and didn't hold much force like the first as if he given up everything. The wide grin in his face disappeared at the time Allen's spoken and it never did return yet as if his words strike a cord in him.

The Earl's sword break into halve and Allen kicked him in his gut, not wanting to lose his opportunity and pressed his exorcism in The Earl's throat. "Any last words, Mana or should I say _**Adam**_?"

The Earl's response was a chuckle. Allen raised his sword and buried it deep in the Earl's chest and put every ounce of the remaining power of his innocence that been protecting him to make sure he wouldn't never survived this time. He knew if he did that the Noah inside him will go berserk but he planned to bring him down with his death. A low yet soft voice filled the air and Allen looked down the Earl and his eyes widened at the sight he was smiling at him genuinely and said with gentleness that had been a bitter yet sweet memory of his childhood."You have grown,Allen. I'm proud..." With that The Earl's body began to corrode, disintegrating into dust.

A single tear rolled down in Allen's bloody cheeks. "...I'm glad.. It's finally over." Due to the fact his body is already reached his limit and The Noah in him seemed to be going in turmoil, he wasn't prepared at all when he swayed and collapsed in the ground like a rag doll with the pool of his own blood.

"Allen!" A frantic voice called.

Huh? Kanda? Allen thought he was imagining things or he was just delusional as no one known his location at all. But then again it's nice to hear his voice again even if it just the figment created by his mind. He wanted nothing more than to rest because he felt so tired.

Kanda immediately snapped in his stupor and cried out the boy's name as he slumped onto the ground like a rag doll and cradle his form,desperately calling out his name. But the silver haired eyes were glazed and it's obvious that he wasn't aware of his surrounding anymore.

"Damn moyashi. Don't die on me or I'll hunt you down. Do you hear me!" Kanda roared in his face, looking down at his battered form, dark matter coming out in his body causing cracks in his body like what happened to the Earl few moments ago but he is not turning into dust it's only making his wound much worse and added a new one. His eyes turning silver and gold every second as if the Noah in him trying to resurfaced but can't. "Please, Allen... Don't leave me.." He choked out a sob as he saw Allen closed his eyes. "Please..Allen" He keep calling him but there's no response even he tried to shake him a little. Then he went rigid as he felt everything stopped in the boy, his breathing, heart beat and pulse. Now, he can't stayed calm anymore he began to call him frantically. "Moyashi?...Allen..ALLEN! NO! ALLEN OPEN YOUR EYES PLEASE! ALLEN!" tears started to cascade his eyes as the boy remained cold and lifeless in his arms. Who would thought that there will be a day that a sight something like this will occurred, A crying Kanda before it would be impossible, a joke but now everything changed ever since Allen appeared in there lives.

Kanda weeped at the silver haired boy safely tucked in him. The others arrived but stopped abruptly as they stared wide-eyed horror in the scene played before them, Allen did give them a sure one hell-tragic performance that will left them forever in regret but they have to moved on without forgetting their past mistakes that surely gives them a lesson.

Kanda stood up, Allen in his arms. The tears still falling down from his face but when he turned into his face wasn't miserable like the looks of people who had lost their love ones like him but instead his expression were the opposite - it's filled with determination and hope.. For the distant future.

"Let's go home, Allen will be happy to be back." Kanda said as he walked past his comrade.

The others wiped their tears and followed Kanda. This battle they may have won filled with grief and regrets along with the bitter tears but they completely remembered Allen's word:  
_**  
".. The outcome is already final. There's nothing left in the end.. Only despair and bitter tears of regret but shed no tears for this time might turn into a tragedy next time will be bright and filled with happiness.. Tears of joy that only needed to be shed as proof that you survived the worst of life.. "**_

That's right, they shouldn't cry now. They will moved on and in the distant future their regrets will died down and find their own happiness until then that's the only time they will shed tears..And Perhaps they will meet a certain silver haired boy.

**..Few months later..**

A figure of a certain navy-haired man standing in front of a tombstone, holding the flowers of eglantine rose and pink carnation*. A smile blossomed in his handsome face not a smirk but a genuine smile only reserved at the person buried deep in rest before him.

_Yes, Allen . I hear you and there's nothing to ask for forgiveness because I loved you and always remember I don't regret ever meeting you nor loving you.. Until next time moyashi.. Wait for me and look after us.._

He gotten an instant response by a soft blow of wind as if telling him, he is doing the exact thing at the moment.  
**  
~Fin~**

**A/N: *Eglantine Rose means 'wound to heal' and Pink Carnation means 'I'll never forget you'**

**The beta reading of this story isn't complete but I'm thankful for SunsetKitsune as he/she edited some parts of it ^_^******

**And ****I know it's rush and weird not so original but I hope you enjoy it. Love and cheers to all. Comments and everything were all welcomed ^_^**


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